I Screamed, She Smirked

A new shareware game · The Bard of Bizarre, 1995 · registration $5

I Screamed, She Smirked: its title screen

You take your girlfriend's kid, Lily (eight, a unicorn hoodie, a caramel apple as big as her head), to a haunted house. The sign says MILD SCARES FOR ALL AGES. She is not scared. You are. Scream at the fog machines, tackle a papier-mache witch ("GET DOWN!") and say sorry, strategically reposition away from the guy in the werewolf mask through a wall of fake spiderwebs, buy the $12 souvenir sword, defend yourself from an 11-year-old in a cardboard knight costume, and bond with the emergency exit sign. Lily gets the Bravery Badge. Shareware from The Sofa BBS, from the song by The Bard of Bizarre (lyrics shaped by ChatGPT from Lewis Moten's prompts; music made with Riffusion, now Google Flow Music; title and cover art drawn for the game by Claude Opus 5.5).

Play I Screamed, She Smirked right here in your browser — nothing to download or install — with a keyboard, a game controller or touch controls.

Shareware: the author’s notice and how to register are in the game, shown before it starts.

More games to play · Game-Maker: Sandbox Edition: make your own game in your browser.

Made with Game-Maker: Sandbox Edition · source code · A modified fork of RSD Game-Maker 3.0 — not an original RSD release.